Radio shropshire Christmas pause for thought

It was one frosty December day, many years ago now but I still remember her very well 

 

A lady in her early 60's I guess ,smartly dressed for the cold weather, and from the bags she carried she'd evidently been doing Christmas shopping. I couldn't see inside the bags - but the bags themselves bore the names of well known stores 

I'm going to call this woman Jane ( not her real name)..

 

She'd left the bright lights and the noise of the High Street - not just to come in from the cold .. but into the quietness of a church building.

 

I welcomed her and introduced myself as the churches minister and asked if she'd been doing her Christmas shopping. 

 

Actually it was obvious she had - so it was a pretty stupid question really - and she didn't answer either! But to my amazement tears welled up in her eyes and she was soon sobbing uncontrollably her shoulders heaving with grief.

 

30 minutes and a cup of coffee later we talked, slowly at first but then her words came out in a torrent she shared with me that just a few months earlier she had lost her husband.

 

How she had wanted, indeed longed, to keep up appearances for the sake of the children and their children and up to this point she was doing well,but coming into a quiet building from a busy street  and talking to a complete stranger meant her deep grief found expression in her many tears

Maybe you're dreaming of a White Christmas looking forward hugely to what we call the festive season and having yourself what Bing Crosby  describes as a very merry Christmas.

 

And I do  hope your Christmas  is filled with good things.. but there is another kind of Christmas - not white - but blue.

 

It is the kind of Christmas I remember the year my dad died

It is the kind of Christmas  the bereft  family’s of those children and adults killed in Newtown Connecticut will be experiencing this and every year for there is something especially difficult about tragedy at Christmas

That was the kind of Christmas Jane was having  all those years ago ,and perhaps you too have been bereaved –we often feel the pain most acutely at Christmas don’t we?

 

Or perhaps you have lost your job and you're wondering how you'll pay back that loan or clear that credit card bill or you're worried about your health or your children or your parents or your marriage.

 

For many of us Christmas simply cannot bear the weight of expectation of happiness we place upon it

 

Now this is never easy but if you're dreading Christmas there are things that may help to dispel the darkness: You can find somebody to talk to ,whether it's a friend or perhaps a great charity like the Samaritans  or Relate who are there to help

 

Or if  memories of Christmas past  are just too painful is it  possible perhaps  to change your routine and go and help out at a church or charity or at a Christmas lunch, or even go for a walk in the country

 

These are not miracle cures but they can sometimes help get your pain into perspective

 

And perhaps we can also think about - what for me as a Christian - is the real meaning of Christmas:  Jesus came, not as a flash of light but as a tiny baby whose first cries were heard by a peasant girl The hands that first held him were , blistered, and dirty .the hands of a carpenter

 

here was a lot of grief and uncertainty around that first Christmas - a day that God became a vulnerable baby in Lucados words "he who sustained the world became dependant on the nourishment of a young girl”

And as the baby grew into a man he was to experience  suffering and rejection bereavement and pain and even death He understands our suffering he cares for us. The Light came into a dark world  that first Christmas and the darkness could never destroy it.

 

It would be unrealistic to expect everyone to have a Happy Christmas but my hope is we can in the depths of our hearts (even if they are troubled hearts) have a peaceful one.. and I wish a peaceful Christmas for you.